You can only contact me telepathically. You can do this by placing the back of your hand on your forehead, closing your eyes, and imagine your words floating in air towards my brain. It will help if you wear a a cone-shaped tin foil hat when you do this. The taller the better. Send me pictures for proof.
*If you desperately need to email me, you can reach me at catvshuman at gmail dot com. Om nom nom.